The Day I Discovered Why Normal People Don’t Picnic in Graveyards
Posted On April 6, 2020
Singleness Awareness er…. Valentines Day…. is tomorrow and I’m gonna go ahead and admit that it ain’t my favorite holiday. In fact, one year I was feeling so cynical that I wrote a whole blog post on how Valentine’s Day was invented by greedy greeting card companies. On the bright side, Valentine’s day did make way for an invention that I do appreciate. For all my fellow single female adventurers out there, have you ever heard of Galentine’s day? It basically means girl’s day out on February 13th. Make sure that sometime today you call up your bestest gal pals and have some epic and embarrassing girl-only adventures. In case you are still not clear what kind of things you can do on a Galentine Day adventure, let me share with you the story of my first and favorite Galentine’s Day. I like to call it:
How I Discovered Why Most People Don’t Picnic In Graveyards
Once upon a time, waaaay back in the beginning of high school, I managed to sneak over to my bestest gal pal’s house for a few weeks during the February holiday that I had invented for myself (perks of homeschooling).
We woke up one morning and realised that it was valentine’s day and we were single. Not a problem. Since we were in that quirky-cat-lady-in-training period of life, we decided to dress up in outdated clothes, collect props from around the house, load up about ten times as many books as we could actually read in one afternoon, and set up an awesome spring photoshoot/picnic.
When all our props were prepared the problem came… where was this epic picnic going to transpire?
Now, there were a lot of nice parks around town and a lot of potential picnic spots. But all those places also had the potential of being loaded with gorgeous couples gazing into each others eyes. Eeeeew.
“Heeeey! What about thalat super cool graveyard near your mom’s work?” I suggested. If you read this blog regularly you may remember that I was (and still am) a tad bit obssessed with graveyards. They are quiet places with nice greenery where you can usually count on being alone.
Did Meredith cringe at the idea of having a spring picnic in the final resting place of hundreds of corpses? Did she say “Hummm, Susanna… this time you are off your head?”.
Nope. That’s why we are best friends.
So we agreed that a graveyard would be a lovely place for a spring picnic, safe from the goo goo gaaing of sickengly-adorable couples. See how smart we are?
Things went all right at first. We spread out our blankets and props, chatted, laughed, and chomped down on amazing food. We attempted to take artsy pictures with the nice scenery and figured that nobody would notice the gravestones surrounding us:
All that artsiness, as well as the delicious sandwhiches, made us tired. So we decided to curl up under the beautiful sunshine and take a quick nap.
Can’t anybody get a little peace and quiet in a graveyard nowadays?
What was that?
I looked at Meredith. She looked at me. We slowly gazed around the graveyard together. A male gardener was mowing the lawn on the other side of the graveyard and he was moving towards us… fast.
VRRRRROOOOOOOOOOM. His ride-on lawn mower revved up. He was close enough now that we could see the bewilderment on his face. What were two young girls doing in the middle of a cemetary with piles of books, food, and candlesticks?
“What do we do?”
“Do you think he will kick us out?”
“Not if we are greiving our grandmother’s death!”
“Quick! He is coming. Look SAD!”
And so it was that we spent the rest of the afternoon at our grandmother’s grave site, mostly chatting and laughing. When the roar of the gardner’s lawn mover neared us, we bit our lips hard to suck in the giggles and attempt convincing my-grandmother-just-died-and-we-are-picnicing-by-her-grave faces.
Both the roar of the lawn mower and the looks that the gardner was giving us were a bit distracting. We figured that those were all the reasons why normal people don’t picnic in graveyards regularly, but they didn’t bother us.
When the food rations were depleted and we were hungry again, we packed up our bags and returned home. We then baked the best ever red velvet cupcakes and decorated them while planning our future cupcake shop.
How do you end a perfect Galentine’s Day? We opted to construct an epic blanket fort and then watch Audrey Hepburn movies (Roman Holiday anyone?) inside til all hours of the night.