I’ve been writing a lot. Channeling emotion through my pen onto papers no one will ever have to look at.
I’ve been reading a lot. There is nothing like immersing yourself in some stranger’s sorrows to help your forget some of your own. Admittedly, I’ve read more then healthy amounts of Les Miserables over the past few days. It is nice to have alternate worlds to escape to.
I’ve not been doing a lot of school. But who is there to scold me? I’m too exhausted to beat myself up about it. I am my own tyrant when it comes to these matters. And as sub par as I have been this week, the tyrant was too tired to tear. I will be fine.
I’ve been learning a lot.
Tell them how you feel. Don’t take their presence for granted. Don’t be afraid to say “I love you”. Do it before it is too late. There is a very difficult way to learn this lesson, it involves losing someone you always thought would be there. Someone who has been there for as long as you can remember. Tugging away at life, smiling, not saying much – just being there. This someone means a lot to you. This someone always has. You want to tell him, you want him to know how much he means – but it might sound sappy, it might be awkward. So you let it go. You never say anything.
“I will someday” you tell yourself. “Some important day, at just the right time, I will thank Him for everything. Maybe at my graduation. Maybe at my wedding. It will be perfect. He will know someday.” You content yourself with this. But what if he isn’t at your graduation? What if he can’t make it, not even for your wedding?
To lose someone without them ever knowing how much they meant to you is very difficult. Don’t let it happen.