Reality Check: My sister is heading to Cali for a semi-annual bible conference over Winter break. She’s going to take the train to Seattle to visit some relatives before coming home. I desperately want to go with her. This was supposed to be my year to be free for adventures, right? SLAP. I still don’t have a full-time job. I’m not even making enough money to save for my supposed trip to Europe in January. There is no way I’ll be able to throw an extra trip to Cali on top of that. Oh yeah, and my dream of visiting friends at school in OK – how in the world am I going to finance it?
I promise. I haven’t just been sitting around. I’ve been searching for jobs, applying, and building my resume with internships, online classes, and volunteer activities. Still, since I gave up my job at the bakery – NOTHING. Lord, what are you doing? I wish I could be peaceful and rest in the belief that God has a plan for me.
In the mean time I’m feeling utterly useless. I’m eighteen years old, my friends have sprouted wings and flown to college, and I’m stuck here without a liscense or a job. I’m not complaining, I’m just… okay yeah. Complaining. This is supposed to be an honest documentaiton of a poor girl’s gap year. Complaining is apropriate.
There are certainly adventures to be had… at home. I just started my biggest homeschool class yet. I’m taking an online course from Princeton University. I’ve got two internships helping me to develop my passion for writing. And I’m actively working on the second draft of my novel.
Sometimes however I feel like at-home adventures just don’t count. Maybe it’s because I’m grumpy due to a family juice fast. More likely, I just need to turn back to my Lord and Savior. Right now, I’m discouraged. I guess that is just a part this journey.