I was attending university in the United Kingdom and loving it. I thought that after so much praying and wondering and not-being-sure, my path was pretty well set. Guess what? I’m back to a major life decision again. I one hundred percent don’t know what to do.
This isn’t a how-to post in the style of how to have a perfect tea party or how to make Welsh Cakes. This is more of a here-is-what-I’m-going-through-and-I-hope-you-can-get-some-inspiration-from-it-cause-I-sure-don’t-know-what-to-do. Life is a messy thing. I normally find its punches exciting to wrestle with and fight into submission towards my own dreams. However, I’m kind of tired of fighting and I’m currently having to make a choice I’m pretty sure I just. can’t. make. As expected, I’ve been coping like any normal human being would by:
- Eating kiddie cereal out of a wine glass in the middle of the night.
- Escaping to the gym multiple times each day.
- Cutting watermelon.
(Did you know that cutting fruit is super therapeutic? As long as mommy supplies the melon, you can bet I’ll be ready to chop it up into little pieces and then eat until I feel as if I’m growing my own watermelon babies inside. Lying in the sun digesting copious amounts of watermelon is probably my favorite summer activity.)
Anyhooo… This morning I was touched that there is one who knows our paths.
Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my anxious thoughts; And see if there is some harmful way in me, And lead me on the eternal way.
I enjoyed recently that when we consecrate our lives to God, our lives become very simple. We look to Him to know His will and His plan. In all things we can put ourselves in God’s hands, trusting that He knows what He is doing. He has a plan for our lives. A plan not only to care for us in a detailed and personal way, but also to give us the experiences we need to make us useful to Him for His eternal purpose.
This isn’t the first time that I’ve wondered, Oh my goodness… Lord what in the world are you doing?!?! But I can testify that, in the end, I can only praise Him. For His way is so much higher than my way and His thoughts are so much higher than my thoughts.
The God who has shepherded me all my life to this day,
That is how Christians can live simply as lilies trusting in God despite the complex situations surrounding them.
So I guess what I am trying to learn is that the Lord knows what He is doing. The only way for me to have peace in this coming life decision is to seek and accept His plan.
Teach me, O Jehovah, Your way; I will walk in Your truth. Make my heart single in fearing Your name.