*Warning… this might get sappy
This is the 300th post of this blog.
Wow. I cannot tell you how much I have enjoyed relaying the misadventures and joys of my life to the internet. I found that embarrassing moments were easier to deal with when I formed them into light-hearted blog posts. Failures made more sense when I wrote them up as lessons-learned.
Five years ago, when I wrote my necessary introduction, I never could have imagined the road this blog would take.
It started as a personal blog of an undersocialized homeschooler looking for friends to commiserate with.
It grew into a place to share book reviews and gush over classic literature whilst I worked through the classics challenge.
When I graduated high school, this became my soap box to advocate for gap years. What I didn’t realize until later was that gap year gushing was really just my way of building a narrative to make sense of a lifestyle I often second-guessed.
Most recently, this has become the blog of a study abroad enthusiast. When I moved to Wales a year and a half ago, I truly believed that everyone should try to study abroad at least once. I wanted to create a space of the internet that would be fun and helpful for potential study abroad students.
For five years this blog has followed my passions and provided an outlet for many a rant and rave.
Now here I am. I’m waiting to restart my education. I’m working as a barista and homeschooling my siblings. I don’t know what I believe in anymore. I don’t know what I should be advocating.
All I know is that I don’t know much.
Suddenly, I realize that, for the first time in five years, this blog doesn’t make sense for me.
I don’t have book reviews, gap year chronicles, or study abroad information to build my narrative around. I just have me, another millennial kid who hasn’t figured it out yet.
Me, just me, isn’t something I really want to blog about.
I love writing and I love all my readers, still my life is not an open book. The picture of myself that I present to the internet is so simplified, sanitized, and recoloured, it hardly feels truthful anymore. And even if I could learn to be a bit more open with people, I’m not sure the internet is the best place to do that.
So until I can figure out what this blog is really for, I cannot find the inspiration and heart needed to keep on writing.
It is hard to admit. I’ve become pretty attached to my lil corner of the internet. Still, I think the best thing to do right now is to excuse myself from blogging and take an extended leave.
All that said, I’ve met some incredible people during my time blogging. This is BY NO MEANS the end of our friendship. I will continue to read and participate in the blogging communities that have become so dear to me over the years.
For all those who have joined me on this journey, thank you.